Nothing to See Here

Nope – we not all “in this together”

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As you’re no doubt well aware, this Covid situation has gotten really nasty, as people are turning on each other, arguing over masks or how and when we can reopen “safely”. I have been weighed down by what’s happening to my hometown, because I cannot stand to see people losing everything.

I can absolutely relate to those who’ve lost their jobs through no fault of their own, and might have to totally recalibrate their lives as a result. I’ve been there myself. They may very well have to lose homes, cars, toys, luxuries they could have easily afforded before this crap began, or move in with friends or family.

The people I have no time for are those who sit in their homes or their parents’ basement in pajamas  telling everyone else to, “Stay home and stay safe!” while they don’t stand to lose anything. What they don’t realize (yet) is that the fallout from this devastated economy and the “relief” packages being passed WILL affect them eventually.

It’s odd; on the one hand they claim they want people to “wear a mask for others”, yet they don’t care if “others” can’t feed their families because they can’t go back to their bartending jobs.

Recently I got fed up and posted something to my Facebook page that was shared and read by over 20,000 people. I guess I touched a nerve. In case you missed it…

As a former casino worker, (cocktail waitress and singer), I truly UNDERSTAND what people are going through right now who are unemployed or underemployed. I am heartsick at what’s happening to my fellow Las Vegans. 

I know what it’s like to sit at the kitchen table and try to decide what you HAVE to pay, because you can’t pay everything at the moment. I know what it’s like to cash out jars of change to buy groceries. I’ve been through uncertain times, had to make changes and recalibrate, but God never left me. I never missed a meal. 

I am disheartened and frankly disgusted at the attitudes of some people who keep telling others “Stay home!” “We need to close down again!” “Bars are spreading it!” “People might DIE!” 

How dare you, when you have nothing to lose and won’t miss a paycheck?  

Here’s some breaking news, you elitists who’ve never worked a gig or bussed a table: Some people have to LEAVE their houses every day to KEEP their houses. They can’t sit home in their pajamas wagging their keyboard fingers at others. 

Livelihoods matter as much as lives do. Some people are losing everything they’ve ever worked for. Careers, businesses, houses…

Here’s more breaking news: Unemployment, even if you can get it, doesn’t replace a lifetime of work spent building a business or career. 

If you are that scared, be good girls and boys, do what the government says and STAY THE HELL HOME, but remember that the REAL people are the ones who are bringing groceries to your house or stocking the stores, picking up your trash, and fixing your utility lines during this crap. THEY are still out there, and they have more guts than some of you do. What would we do if EVERYONE had your attitude? YOU “nonessential” person, we could probably all live without. 

What about cops and firefighters who risk their LIVES daily? And some people are clutching their pearls about what is, for the vast majority of people, a bad flu??

No, we are not “in this together”. The idea that someone who wants to go back to work to feed their families “doesn’t care about others” is b**s**t. YOU don’t care about the suffering of others because it’s not real to you, (yet). YOU will (maybe) still have your car, home and retirement check when this is all over. 

When it gets real for you, hits home, or when you lose your job, you’ll think differently.

Here’s hoping and praying we return to some semblance of “normal” very soon. I weep for my hometown.

Heidi Harris

8-1-20

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Keep government out of your life – make better decisions!

“A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord.” Proverbs 19:3

Here’s some breaking news: Our elected officials mostly suck. They’re often incompetent or power hungry, and the last thing most of them care about is YOU, at least until the next election. 

Yes, they have responsibilities as elected officials, and we expect them to do what they were elected to do, since we can’t watch them every minute. However, when it gets right down to it. it’s YOUR job to care about your family and make sure they have what they need in a time of crisis, manufactured or not. Blaming this person or that party does nothing to move the ball forward, nor does it improve your life, although there’s clearly plenty of blame to go around at this moment. 

Lots of people complain about government, and to a large degree they’re right. The best way to keep government out of your life is to make good decisions and not give them entree into it. Save your money. Marry the right person and don’t screw it up. Raise your kids right. Don’t put your family in the hands of judges. 

This shutdown is unforeseen and totally unfair to the hardworking people of America. What galls me most is the people who are making these decisions about our futures aren’t missing a paycheck. They aren’t going to lose their family business if we’re shut down another month. Easy for them to make proclamations, right? But living your life correctly is something you should do regardless of who’s in office, or what decisions they make. 

Every financial expert in the world tells you to save 3-6 months’ living expenses at a minimum. If everyone had done this, there wouldn’t be lines for free food, and people freaking out in a week. I saw a two-mile line for free food ONE WEEK after the layoffs. One week! People, you need to plan better. 

And why are people sitting in food lines with cars that are clearly new? I’ve seen them with dealer’s paper plates still on them. 

I don’t care what kind of car you drive, but you clearly can’t afford a financed car if you don’t have a week’s worth of FOOD in your house. I posted something about that the other day on social media, and people said, “some people are picking up food for others who don’t have cars”. In a $60,000 car? If you can afford that, you should be buying the food for others and not taking up space in a line meant for truly needy people! 

What are you teaching for children about leading a responsible life when you’re that broke that soon? Days after your last paycheck? I don’t care how much you make, you can curb your lifestyle and save some of it. I know very well what it’s like to be fired unexpectedly. I was fired a few years ago, one week after I bought a house. I had signed the papers and hadn’t even moved in yet, so yes, I know what it’s like to go into lockdown mode. You make correct decisions to ensure your survival, knowing that God will meet your needs, but not necessarily all of your wants. 

Some people are always broke, all the time, no matter how much they make. You know them and I know them. They have no money management skills. They whine on the phone to friends, borrow money from family, and always seem to have little “emergencies” that come up. Now those same people are crying that their government “relief” isn’t immediately in their bank account, never acknowledging that their poor financial decisions have put them at the mercy of government.

If you don’t marry well, you’re stuck either living with someone you can’t stand, or fighting over “who gets the kids during a lockdown”, you have screwed up somewhere, Maybe you chose poorly, or make you were a crappy husband or wife. Either way that stress is self-imposed, and not the government’s fault. 

There are people who are “independent contractors” who now expect unemployment. Once again, none of this lockdown this is their fault, but did they declare all their income when doing those gigs? Hmmm? If not, good luck. More bad decisions. 

If you’re in a tough spot, don’t give up – take action. Sit down with your bills, honestly evaluate your situation and formulate a plan. What do you need, and what can you cut, at least for now? You’ll feel better if you take control of what you can control. Maybe you’ll have to turn in your financed car and buy a Boulder Highway beater. So what?

Maybe cancel cable and all those unnecessary entertainment packages. Move in with family. Adapt. It’s called survival, and the fact is, no one knows when Vegas will return to any semblance of “normal”, or if you’ll have your old job when this is over.

A crisis is a great way of separating the wheat from the chaff. Although it might be tough for a while, resilient and resourceful people will sail through it, while some others will curl into a ball and (once again) blame everyone else. Sure it’s unfair, but life isn’t fair, and events are rarely within your control. But the decisions you make long before a crisis hits will determine how well you weather the storm.

Something to think about for the next time. 

Heidi Harris

4-19-20

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So you wanna run for office? Advice to potential candidates

I am often amazed at the people who run for elective office with no real plan, other than the dream of being the next “whoever”. God bless ya, the water’s warm, and miracles do happen, but you’re wasting your time unless you consider these things:

1. Choose the right race. 

Which races will you realistically have a shot at? Don’t let your ego get ahead of your brain. Ask others you trust. It could even be the right race, but the wrong year. Who’s in that seat already? 

Is the officeholder beatable, or termed out? You may think you’re smarter and better qualified, (you probably are), but they have the advantage of incumbency. 

Do other candidates who might jump in have better name recognition, and are they better funded? There’s only so much money to go around, and especially in the case of big donors, you should have an idea of where those dollars have already been allocated, and how much is still up for grabs.

2. Know your stuff. WHAT does the office require? What expertise do YOU bring? 

“I want the title” is not enough, and voters figure it out pretty quickly. What can you do to improve things? Can you clearly explain where the current office holder has been derelict in his or her duties? Or where your input could assist the other members of the elective body to improve? Once again, KNOW your stuff.

In addition, you’d better have a thorough grasp of what the office you’re seeking is responsible for, and more importantly, what that office can’t do. Please don’t make false promises about doing something that is not within that office’s power. Voters aren’t (entirely) stupid. I say “entirely” because….well, look at some of the people we’ve elected. Enough said.

3. Find a good campaign manager. Get some GOOD advice.

Interview several campaign managers. Do your research on them. You may know them already, but have they actually won any races? If not, why not? Talk to their former candidates. Get their version of events. Discerning what the campaign manager may have done wrong, or what the campaign manager says the candidate did wrong, will help you decide. Maybe the failed candidate expected too much from the campaign manager? Perhaps the candidate didn’t hold up their end of the bargain? You need to know. 

Anyone can run for office, and someone will be happy to take money to run your campaign. This may come as a shock, but some people will feed your ego and convince you that you actually have a chance at a race (when they know you don’t) because they want a paycheck from you for a few months, and they don’t have anyone else in the hopper. 

Some campaign managers will waste your money on things like needless printing, either because they get kickbacks or don’t know any other approaches. Being more creative might be the better play. You have to be careful, especially in a small race, where money is tight.

There’s so much info available online about running a successful campaign that there’s really no excuse. It’s like buying a house. You might hire a realtor, but in the end you really need to do your own research. Read up on how various people have failed politically, and try to avoid making those same mistakes. Get good objective advice from people who don’t have skin in the game.

4. Shore up your party credentials.

Unless you’re running in an (ostensibly) “non-partisan” race, you need to be part of a political party. If you’ve never been to a GOP or Democrat event, and no one has seen your face, good luck. The folks in the trenches know the posers from the serious people, who stay actively involved, whether they’re running or not. They realize you’re just passing through to get elected, suddenly claiming to have conservative or liberal beliefs. Those folks are not easily fooled.

5. Your public profile is not enough to get you elected. 

I’ve known several people who gave up TV or radio careers to run for office, with mixed results. A Republican radio broadcaster recently did that to run against Trump! Whatever, dude. The fact that you’re well-known in one realm isn’t enough to get you elected to anything, unless you’re Donald Trump.

If you’re a network TV personality, you’re probably not allowed to attend political events, either GOP or Democrat, so no one knows you in those groups. You can’t expect to waltz in and have a crown put on your head because you’ve been on radio or TV for years. If you’ve been on TV, never taking hard positions and doing fluff interviews, people might not take you seriously.

There’s another downside to being a public person: If you’ve been hosting an opinion radio show, the Radio Miranda Rule applies. “Everything you’ve ever said can and WILL be held against you” by the opposition research folks. Be prepared.

6. Create a decent website strictly for your campaign. 

Don’t even launch your campaign until that is up and running. If I hear about you and check out your site and it sucks or doesn’t exist, I don’t go back. Neither will donors or constituents.

7. Clean up your social media.

If you’ve been dumb enough to say something online that may come back to bite you, (who hasn’t) clean up your accounts BEFORE you even talk about running. Believe it or not, there are services you can use who will do that for you. A good campaign manager will know this.

8. Think of anything and everything that could be used against you, and be ready to address it. 

Have you had a nasty divorce? A DUI or other arrest? Lawsuits? Do you have a bad reputation in the professional realm? This will come back to bite you, although some people somehow survive it. (I’m thinking of Nevada’s AG). Opposition research people live for those tidbits. Even if a shady past doesn’t bother you, (which is actually an asset when you’re running for office), you need to be honest with your campaign manager up front, and have a plan to address anything that comes up. Or don’t enter the race.

A Presidential candidate a few years back had been paying another woman’s RENT. Did he not think that would come up? Of course the op research people knew it, and sat on it, until the right time.

9. Yes, people can and will LIE about you – get ready. 

Sadly, many voters assume that anything said about you by your opponent in a campaign ad or flyer must be true. Unfortunately, people can say things in campaign literature and in ads that I could never say on the radio, lest I be sued. Innuendo and half truths are the rule of the day. It has always been a part of politics, and it’s not going away. Put aside some of your money to defend yourself from last minute hit pieces. Be ready to address any allegation. 

10. Radio interviews won’t get you elected.

Oh, how I sometimes wish that were true. Lots of people think getting five minutes on my show (or anyone’s show) will get them elected. Nope. First of all, if it’s a small race like Nevada Assembly or Senate, chances are small that the audience is full of people who can actually vote for you. You simply have to do the legwork. Even if you’re running for Congress, the same rule applies. You need to focus your attention on your district.

11. Be polite to the media. 

You need us far more than we need YOU. But IF you are asked to do media with a legitimate source, your answer is “YES, I can make it”. If you’re too busy when someone asks you to do an interview, especially if YOU have asked to be on, (yes, I’ve had this happen), don’t say, “I’m not available that day”. Once you start running, you need to be able to be flexible so you CAN do the things that might help your campaign.

And I’m sorry to tell you this, but radio hosts aren’t legally obligated to have you on. I once had a guy threaten to sue the station because we wouldn’t have him on my show. That’s the way to charm the media! 

12. You’d better have a plan to raise money. 

Raising money is the worst part of campaigning, at least if you’re a decent person. You need to have some of your own, and be wiling to schmooze people with money. Impressing your friends at some backyard barbecue with your great ideas won’t translate into enough support to get you elected. Remember that Karaoke bars are full of people cheering their tone-deaf friends on…

Running for office is hard work, but we need good people in elective office, or our nation will suffer more than it already has. Don’t give up if you want to make a difference, but get your ducks in a row!

Heidi Harris

2-19-20

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’TIS THE SEASON TO FEEL GUILTY…fa la la la lah…

Did you take a “guilt trip” over the holidays? I took several. Is it me, or has Christmas become one big list of expectations we feel we can’t possibly meet? We Christians know that this celebration of the birth of our Savior is what it’s really all about, and should continue to be about, but that horse left the barn, I’m afraid.

What it has become for many people, including myself, is a season of stress and guilt, even if you try hard to stay focused on the Reason for the Season.

I do love to put up the tree and decorations, and I love the music, but there’s pressure everywhere you look. Did I send out enough Christmas cards? This always falls on the wife, btw. Every year I try to get them out early, or at least have some return address labels printed ahead of time, but suddenly December appears, and I’m surprised. Again. 

I keep a list of people I mail cards to, (I despise Ecards) and the list sometimes gets smaller, or has new people added. People have died, people don’t speak to you anymore…Do you want to include everyone? Then they feel obligated to send one to you, even though they hadn’t planned to, and the guilt is perpetuated. 

Then you always get a few cards from people you forgot…so more guilt.

And although most of us are under the pile this time of year, some people have time to send cards to their doctor or dentist! Or skin care expert. Or any other business. Really? Are ya that far ahead? Please, come help me do MY cards.  

I never have the time or foresight to have a card printed with professional photos, so I usually just include a newsletter and a picture with it. And I keep the newsletter short. You can read it in a minute and half, max. 

I used to have some friends who put a ton of time into doing their annual Christmas photo, complete with formal attire and a glowing newsletter of his professional accomplishments. They put the Kardashians to shame, with their perfect, successful, little family. They’re divorced now. 

And what’s with those people who send you a 1000 word report on their accomplishments over the past year? Who reads that crap? 

Just tell me if you’re still alive, still married, how many kids or dogs or grandkids you have now, what you’re doing, and where you live. Half a page ought to cover it, thanks. 

I don’t mind putting up the inside decorations. I actually love seeing the things I have for a few weeks a year, but of course you have to put them away again. A few hours right there.

Then there’s pressure to do outside decorations. You have to compete with your neighbors, after all, or risk looking like a heathen. This usually falls on the husband. That’s half a day up, and half a day down, right there. 

Then there’s the guilt about where to spend the holidays. This year I spent Christmas Eve with my mom in CA, because my hubby was not able to get away. Dog sitter, work obligations, etc. The expense and hassle just piled up, so we did things separately. I drove home on Christmas Day, to spend that night with him and his side of the family. At least I avoided the snow and road closures in the Cajon Pass. 

Many people feel the pull of his parents or yours. “But this could be her last Christmas…But mine never see us…” and on and on. And if you have kids, shouldn’t they get to have Christmas in their own homes, instead of spending their vacation in the back of a minivan shuttling between grandparents? The answer is yes.  

Then there’s the social stress. The parties you want to attend are all on the same night. Argh. Then you find out about parties you weren’t invited to on FB. Harrumph! Left me out, huh??? More stress.

And let’s not forget about gifts. You simply can’t get everyone gifts, and if you do, often they feel obligated to reciprocate, which causes even more stress. I do keep a few generic “hostess gifts” in my closet, just in case, but still…

You’re afraid to even meet someone for coffee in the month of December because they might bring a gift and catch you empty-handed. Or how about the people who are explicitly told “NO gifts” at an event, but still give you a gift card. Grrr. Now, once again, you feel like a jerk. 

It all makes you want to stay in your house! Maybe it’s just me, but when it’s all over, I’m relieved. I need to get back to work to get some rest! Happy New Year, everyone! See you January 6! 

Heidi Harris

12/30/19

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Tommy Callaway, the latest whipping boy for triggered feminists

Tommy Callaway has become the latest whipping boy in the #metoo movement. He’s the tobacco company employee and part time Youth Pastor who slapped a reporter’s butt while running past her as she was reporting on a race. He did it on live TV, and her reaction was understandable.

The response in the Court of Social Media is not. 

Yes, what he did was clearly wrong, on every level. You do not have the right to touch another woman without her consent. The problem for Tommy Callaway is the social media hoards who have nothing else to do but react to the Daily Twitter Outrage. They’ve attacked him and his employer, demanding he be fired. Some have even called for a sentence of 30 years in prison! 

I’d have more respect for the young feminists’ reaction to this if it weren’t for the fact that millions of them think nothing of picking up strangers on dating apps and jumping into bed without even having the guy buy them a drink. “Netflix and chill” is more than enough wooing for this crowd. At least male birds shake their tail feathers a little.

Women have so little respect for themselves nowadays, what are men supposed to think? WE are supposed to teach men how to treat us. And we have taught them well, haven’t we? 

Why does Harvey Weinstein have women swarming him wherever he goes? Still swooning over him? The #metoo sisterhood is not exactly standing together in collective outrage. 

Many of the same people who are trying to destroy Tommy Callaway were defending the former Congresswoman, Katie Hill, who was seen naked in a chair, combing the hair of a woman who worked for her. #metoo, but only if a conservative does it? Got it. Hill’s behavior is applauded, but a butt slap is a Federal Offense. 

Maybe I’m old school, but when I have dealt with boorish behavior, I’ve done it directly. I go right to the offender. In fairness, this reporter had no opportunity to tell Tommy off, since he was running by. Only later did everyone realize who he was. 

In some situations I’ve encountered, I’ve been very blunt. Once, in a night club, a guy put his hand on my butt and I told him, in my loudest voice, “If you do that again, I’ll break your f***ing arm!” Another time a co-worker made a disrespectful sexual gesture without even touching me, and I told him I’d have his job right then and there if he pulled that crap again. Offended? Nope, I was pissed. It wasn’t shocking, it was disrespectful. I left his parts on the floor without having to run to HR like a little girl. I solved the problem right then and there. You earn respect, and that doesn’t come through HR. 

I worked in a casino for many years, and most of what triggers these 25 year-olds today was what we used to consider “banter”. It was a normal part of our day, but when it occasionally crossed a line, I handled it. 

If young women are going to respond at level 10 to every little offense, we’ll all be so worn out, the real problems will be completely ignored. The reporter said in an interview, “He took my power.” Oh please. Your power is in your butt? Are you a battery operated toy? That butt slap was really something. If it really does remove someone’s power, I should try that on a few politicians. 

Maybe these Twitter feminists, outraged by something that really doesn’t affect them, didn’t have fathers. After all, we have entire generations where fathers weren’t the influence on their kids that they should have been. Feminist moms either picked bad men or dumped perfectly good men who weren’t “perfect”, so they could be “happy”, and the kids paid the price. 

Women with healthy attitudes towards men, which are the result of healthy attitudes toward their daddy, aren’t usually as triggered by stupid things, because they don’t believe all make are basically bastards. 

The reporter did nothing wrong, and certainly did not deserve to have her butt slapped. Tommy Callaway was clearly out of line, and has publicly apologized. But the level of outrage about this has far exceeded the crime, as far as I’m concerned. 

Heidi Harris

12-14-19

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Decluttering your life may also mean decluttering relationships

I have been on a “decluttering” tear lately, watching videos about getting rid of junk, finding “freedom” from it, etc. I’ve been donating huge amounts of stuff to charity, giving specific things to friends, etc. It feels good. 

Beyond just streamlining my closets, I’ve streamlined my life. I do so much less than I used to do ten years ago. Call me lazy, but moderating debates, making appearances in person or on Cable TV, other special events, etc. is no longer a huge part of my life. It was for many years, but no longer. There are so many other and more efficient ways to reach my audience without having to be everywhere all the time. You wind up being useless to everyone. 

I realize that a person can only do so much, and for me, because of the crazy sleep pattern morning drive dictates, I find that doing my show, prepping for my show, walking my dogs, trying to sneak in a workout and reading my Bible is about all I care to juggle these days. 

Everyone walks around “exhausted” lately, as if that’s some badge of honor. Seems to me you need to say no once in a while, and just relax. I no longer feel the need to be at every opening. I rarely do TV stuff. It’s freeing. I did a Skype interview today, but I never had to leave home. Technology is your friend, in that case (if you can get the lighting right). 

Another thing I have scaled back since I’ve been decluttering is in the area of relationships. I realized I had a few that were dragging me down. You may find that, too, if you’re honest in your evaluation. Sometimes relationships become habit. You’ve been friends for so long that it’s just a habit to keep in constant touch. It’s time consuming and often not very edifying, if you’re just having the same conversations over and over again. 

Sometimes taking a break from someone for a minute makes you realize you really don’t miss them all that much. It’s not that you stop caring about them, it’s just that your life and priorities have changed, as have theirs, and there’s no point anymore. You still love them, but you’ve moved on.  

For example, if you find yourself having the same conversation with a person over and over again who refuses to make changes, but wants to bend your ear about it again and again, that’s a waste of time. That was fine when I was 16, but now I have things to DO. 

I’d rather listen to an inspirational podcast than get on the phone and gossip, or hear someone whine about something they refuse to change. 

My world is getting smaller, and I like it that way. I can’t be everything to everyone, and I’ve stopped trying. I have a select group of people I am available to, and that pretty much covers it. Other than my job, my family, my church family, and a few close friends is all I have time for. 

When you’re decluttering your life and looking at what you don’t need, consider the relationships in your life. They may be taking up more useable space than your shot glass collection. 

Heidi Harris

6-25-19

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What I live without when times are tough

A  friend recently asked me how my husband and I have coped when I’ve been unexpectedly unemployed over the last couple of years. If you’ve followed my career, you know that it’s been a roller coaster at times. No worries; I’ve never missed a meal. God always makes sure we survive. Spiritually, I never worry about being employed, because God is in charge of my life, and my identity has never come from being a broadcaster. 

But anyone can fall on hard times, and God doesn’t make you stupid, so you have to adjust your lifestyle to fit the changing circumstances. Here are a few things I do when things get tight that you might find interesting.

Dinners out/socializing with friends

Sadly, tough times often hurt your social life. I don’t like entertaining at home. I just don’t. I like being able to leave after a certain amount of time, and I don’t want to have to spend half a day cleaning and THEN trying to plan a meal, when I don’t even cook! So that part would fall on my husband, and I hate to do that to him, even though he enjoys cooking. So that brings us back to going OUT to eat with people. I do far less of that when things are tight. You don’t want them to let them pay, and you certainly don’t want to go dutch and sound like a cheapie, and let’s face it – two people can’t have lunch at Chili’s for less than $40, so that’s one thing I totally stop doing during the tough times.

Instead of dropping $100 on dinner, my husband and I will sometimes go to a place like Downtown Summerlin with our dog, and just walk around. We can grab a couple of slices of pizza and call it a night. That’s an enjoyable evening for us. I’d much rather do that than stand on some silly Red Carpet somewhere. 

Going to shows or out to see friends play music.

Same as above. I don’t need to tell you what show tickets cost! And although we’re not big drinkers, you can’t sit in a lounge and not order anything, and even one or two drinks can add up quickly. You can buy a BOTTLE of wine at the store for what one glass will cost you on The Strip. And let’s not even TALK about parking fees!

And of course we don’t play slot machines or go to expensive new movies. It’s just not that important to us to see THAT movie THIS year. We can wait. Besides, if it’s non-fiction, I’ve probably already read the book. 

Bar soap

This sounds silly, but for me it’s been a BIG change. I’ve been a “body wash” gal for as long as I can remember. Even if you buy the cheaper stuff, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s cheaper to use bar soap. So I switched to bar soap for the most part, and use the body wash mainly as bubble bath. 

Mindless shopping

There are certain stores that don’t have anything in them that you actually NEED. Pier 1 comes to mind, Cost Plus and Bed, Bath and Beyond, to name a few. Stores that sell overpriced “homeware” that you’ll be giving away in a few years…There’s nothing wrong with those places, but when times are tough, I don’t even LOOK. Furniture stores fall into that category, too. You might WANT a new couch, but if you can’t afford it, why torture yourself? 

I don’t wander around makeup stores or places where I’m likely to buy something I may never use. You know you’re going to spend too much in that environment! If you want new products, research them online and purchase them online, and then you’ll be less likely to come home with 42 lipsticks you hate from that “quick trip” to Sephora. 

Cable TV

That gets a big DUH! We dumped it years ago, and I recently dumped Sirius XM, because I got tired of spending an hour on the phone with them every year, trying to negotiate the price. We find tons of interesting things to watch for FREE on YouTube. Yes, we have internet at home. We have to, for my job, but that doesn’t mean we need all the extra packages. 

I also pay for virtually NO subscriptions to websites or magazines, etc. Five dollars here, ten dollars there, and the next thing you know, you’re spending hundreds of dollars a month on that stuff! There are a few things I have to pay for due to my job, but the luxury items are out. And do you really have TIME for all those things you’re paying for? I don’t. 

We do our own maintenance

I can’t highlight my own hair, but I do groom all my dogs, including two poodles, and have done my own nails since I was 20. I have saved thousands of dollars doing both of those things. Even if you have gel nails or what we used to call “sculptured” nails, you can learn to do it yourself! I did, even back then, and now there are Youtube videos to teach you how. And I’d rather do my own nails while I watch a movie or something inspirational than to have to make small talk with someone at a salon. And I can do them on MY schedule. 

My husband does all our car maintenance and mows our lawn, too! Just last week a hose blew in my car. Hubby had it fixed in a jiffy. That would have cost me $500 if I’d taken it to a shop! 

We both drive old cars, mainly because hubby keeps them running so well, and also because we don’t either one need fancy cars for our jobs. Nor do we feel the need to impress people or keep up with the Joneses with our vehicles. If we were in real estate or something, we might need to “look successful” with a fancy car, but luckily we don’t have to worry about that!  

Don’t pay for storage!!!

Clean out that storage unit that is eating your money every month. You might find things you’ve forgotten about. That goes for garages, too. Toss, donate or sell it! Recently I was cleaning out my office and found an extra power cord extender for my computer that I’d forgotten about! And I was going to BUY one! 

Go through your closet and take inventory

If you really go through your clothes, KonMari method or not, you’d be surprised at what you have. You may have forgotten about those jeans, or dress pants, or that little black dress. I was recently organizing bookshelves, and realized I had two copies of “Democracy in America”. If you know what you already have, you’re less likely to buy a duplicate. 

Repair things instead of replacing them! 

I have finally gotten to the point of only buying comfortable shoes, even if they cost more. And of course I buy fewer of them. When good ones break a strap or something you can usually get them repaired. For example, I had a pair of very good quality “riding” style boots that I loved, and one heel got worn down. I held onto them, and when I could afford it, I got them fixed for less than $40! When you already like something and it fits, it’s often worth repairing. 

Bless friends with your stuff! 

At my church we are always passing things around. We’ll put things on the church Facebook page to see if anyone wants it, before donating it. The ladies in my church also have “clothing swaps” a couple of times a year. We all bring in clothes we no longer want or need, (or can no longer get into), and have at it. The leftovers are donated. I’d much rather give furniture, clothes or anything else to someone I like than to try to make $5 on Ebay! 

Shop wisely for groceries 

Entire books have been written about this. My husband does most of the shopping for us, because he likes it and he’s good at it. You can save a lot of money at places like Sam’s Club and COSTCO if you’re not an impulse shopper. But if you’re the type who goes in to save a buck on toilet paper and arrives home with a flat screen and a new recliner, don’t bother.

When times are tough, you might not be grilling ribeyes, and instead you’re eating sandwiches. But you’re still EATING. Make a list of the basics, things your family needs every week, and stick to it until times get better. 

Bottom line: Most of what we Americans consider “needs” are really just “wants”. If we’re honest, our needs are more than met in our great country. Oprah once said,”If you’re not satisfied with what you have, you won’t be satisfied with more.” Sounds funny to hear a billionaire say it, but she’s right. At her level, people probably whine because someone else has more houses or planes than they do…It’s always a matter of perspective. 

Appreciate what you have, enjoy the perks when they come, and adjust when it’s time to tighten your belt. Never base your happiness on anything that can be taken from you in an instant. 

Heidi Harris

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Does anyone who voted for Trump care about his tax returns?

Is anyone surprised at this? The left has again brought us breaking news: that many “rich” people aren’t really that rich, or don’t really have that much liquid cash, when you look below the surface.

How do you define “billionaire”? That you control an empire and assets worth a billion, but might not have much actual cash flow? He might well be, if everything were to be sold off.

I’m no tax expert, but I know many businesses manipulate the numbers and operate with a certain amount of “losses” to avoid pay more taxes than they should. I’d love to see the tax returns of half of Hollywood or Washington DC. For many so-called wealthy people, there’s a lot of bulls**t and bluster.

Once again, will this change any minds? I think not. As always, the people who hate him will say, “I told you so!”, and the ones who love him will hold their hands over their heads and go, “la la la”!

Heidi Harris

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#WhyIDidntReport then, and I sure can’t now

I don’t have a lot of sympathy for Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers. How can that be? After all, aren’t all women supposed to stick together? Aren’t all men potential perpetrators, just looking for an opportunity? Shouldn’t all women be believed automatically? 

I have no sympathy because there’s no way for her to prove it, and no patience for this because I have been there myself. I didn’t go public about it until this week, because, like Dr. Blasey, I can’t prove it, and there’s no point in trying to destroy a man without any actual evidence. 

I remember more specific details about my attack than Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers do. I can tell you his name, where I was, what kind of car we were in, and what I was wearing, which included a coat, turtleneck and pants. Years later I learned my attacker had a pattern of this type of predatory behavior, when other girls from my high school talked to each other about it. Had any of us known at the time, he would have run out of girls to go out with. But he counted on our silence, and the fact that most of us wouldn’t warn others. 

Three quarters of the time women are victimized by people they know. They are co-workers, dates, or friends. Under my circumstances what was I going to do, scream? He didn’t beat me or leave bruises on me. He was simply stronger than I was. It’s a story far too many women can tell, but in my case, even if I had claimed sexual assault that very same night, how could I possibly have proven it? 

He would’ve said, “We were just making out, and she was okay with going further.” And there would’ve been nothing I could have done to refute it. When I was in high school women just didn’t speak out about those kinds of things. And did I mention he was rich, good looking, and popular? I was going to make a claim against a guy a lot of girls were lining up to date? Good luck with that. 

I don’t recall hearing about anyone being raped in my school, and yet now I know that it happened to numerous girls. Nearly 40 years later, the last thing I would do is accuse my attacker of something he can’t defend against and I can’t prove, even if he ran for President. What would be the point? Again, if I couldn’t have proven it that night how can I possibly prove it now?

In the case of Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers, if we believe the first one’s story, even if she had spoken out immediately, or run out of the room screaming, at a drunken teenage party, who would have come to her rescue? Have you been to an unsupervised teenage party? Everyone disappears into bedrooms, and that’s the end of it. No one cares what goes on in other rooms. After all, she wasn’t bruised or beaten, so everybody would’ve laughed it off.

The guy who victimized me and other girls at my high school demonstrated a pattern of attacking women. Perpetrators like Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, Darren Sharper, etc., have demonstrated long patterns of bad behavior with women. A young man who gets away with abusing women usually doesn’t stop. Why should he?

There is absolutely nothing in Brett Kavanaugh’s entire career and life that points to a pattern of bad behavior with women. Over sixty five women he went to high school with have defended him. Ex-girlfriends have publicly defended him. No one else, left or right, has claimed he was anything other than respectful. As far as I’m concerned, that alone is compelling proof that their claims are false. 

I’m not sure what Brett Kavanaugh’s first accuser thought was going to happen when she sent the letter to Diane Feinstein. Dr. Blasey’s accusations were their last shot at derailing him; didn’t she think her name would come out? It’s not possible or fair to lob grenades at somebody and remain anonymous, especially when the stakes are this high for Kavanaugh and the nation. 

The additional accusations are sickening, and either they are true, in which case he should not even possess a law license, or they are a complete fabrication, in which case the accusers should go to jai. Those of us on the right view this as nothing more than a political ploy to try to derail Kavanaugh’s confirmation and delay any other nominees until after the midterms.

The Senate Judiciary GOP is offering the accuser a chance to testify publicly, which I promise you is far more than Harry Reid would have offered if a Democrat Nominee  were on the line. But now her defenders are asking, “How could she possibly remember all the details? After all she was traumatized!”, and claim that she’s just going to be sliced and diced by the members of the Senate GOP. You wanted to be HEARD? Here’s your chance, sister. 

If the witness isn’t credible after all the accommodations made by the GOP and they cave on this, they will be decimated in November. And who’d want to be the next male nominee anyway? Step right up, fellas. Who’d you know in Middle School…?

I’ve actually seen columns from lefties decrying the due process Kavanaugh is entitled to receive. Let me get this straight – any woman, any time, under any circumstances, should be believed without affording due process to the accused? Yep. Apparently so, in today’s America.

This goes far beyond left or right politics. This is about putting half the population on notice that the other half can take them down at any time with decades-old accusations that cannot be verified or refuted. 

Feminists have hijacked the #MeToo movement and made it nothing more than the latest weapon to bring men down, which also conveniently ignores legitimate victims like me or anyone else on the Right. If Brett Kavanaugh’s career can be derailed by specious claims, all men had better beware. Someone you don’t even remember might be coming for you next. 

Heidi Harris

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It’s not “fake news” just because you don’t like the source

A recent news headline about the NRA’s precarious finances really demonstrated the way some people completely shut out any “news” from any source that isn’t right leaning. I check all kinds of news sources every day, and the story about the NRA was mostly carried by left leaning sites. So what? Of course the right leaning sites don’t want to talk about it. But lefty sites dancing on the grave of the NRA doesn’t make it “fake news”. 

Here’s what the NRA said in their lawsuit: 

“…The NRA has suffered tens of millions of dollars in damages based on Defendants’ conduct… Such damages include, without limitation, damages due to reputational harm, increased development and marketing costs for any potential new NRA-endorsed insurance programs, and lost royalty amounts owed to the NRA, as well as attorneys’ fees, legal expenses, and other costs.

….If the NRA is unable to collect donations from its members, safeguard the assets endowed to it, apply its funds to cover media buys and other expenses integral to its political speech, and obtain basic corporate insurance coverage, it will be unable to exist as a not-for-profit or pursue its advocacy mission. Defendants seek to silence one of America’s oldest constitutional rights advocates. If their abuses are not enjoined, they will soon, substantially, succeed.”

I was very disappointed in some of the responses I got on Facebook (FB: The Heidi Harris Show). Many people automatically dismissed it as “fake news” because the link posted was from the New York Post. Not exactly a left-leaning site, at least not politically. Some instantly dismissed it as “fake” without taking one minute to look it up for themselves, or check other sources. 

I read the lawsuit, filed by the NRA against the State of New York, to find the “money quote”, and the press isn’t lying. True, the NRA may be overstating their liquidity problems just for legal purposes. But if they are prohibited from doing business in New York with virtually every insurance company or bank because of Governor Cuomo’s “blacklisting” of the NRA, which intimidates various companies from working with them, that’s a problem.

I’m not going to litigate the case here, but what the NRA stated in the lawsuit was accurately reported by the Press, for the most part. What’s scarier to me is this “cult” of people who automatically dismiss anything from any web site they don’t like as “fake news”. 

I was fired from a radio job last year because I stood up for family values, and most members of the media and various TV outlets were dancing on my grave. I’ve been a wasp at their picnic for years, and they don’t like anyone speaking out for Christian values. I was one of the more high profile people in Vegas doing that, so they were glad to see me go. But that didn’t make it a LIE that I was fired. 

The way some outlets characterized the reason for my termination was largely dictated by their bias, of course. My former employers wouldn’t go on record, so the Press made things up. For example, some claimed I had said gay people should never be able to adopt kids, and I never said that. Nor did I say that gay people can’t be good parents; something else that was falsely attributed to me. The bias of those reporting a story is something everyone has to take into account, but the facts of a situation are facts, and I was fired for saying kids do best with a mom and dad. 

Back to Trump. Yes, most of the Press hate him, and yes, it’s true the left leaners can’t say anything positive about him, ignoring any success he might achieve. However, we cannot nor should we evaluate everything said about President Trump based on WHO said it. That’s some scary territory to live in. A story isn’t true unless Fox or The Daily Caller report it? You don’t even check?

“Consider the source” is an often quoted phrase, and it’s based on common sense. Of course you must always consider where something is coming from and who the “news” benefits, whether it’s an acquaintance spreading gossip or something in the news. The bias of the reporter or news site will always exist, but you must not automatically dismiss bad news when you don’t like the messenger. 

Heidi Harris

 

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